Haiyer... So fast... one week has past since the chalet ended. Wow! I had a great time at the chalet last week. Cycling around with my friends, cycling to Meridian with choon and chase... woot... fun! And chase and I were talking throughout the night about God knows what (Always changing topics... we link topics very well u see...) while choon listen to us talk while pretending to be asleep. We relived our childhood days that night. Wah... it was super funny playing the flying saucer thing with them. Oh well... all good things must come to an end... haiz...

Anyway, I have officially taken over the job as finance clerk. After 3 days of training at selarang camp, my eyes almost dropped out because i have to look through pages and pages of numbers to find the matching documents. Auditing documents can be super boring and tough man. Hopefully I will be able to survive arh... My upper study will be on leave soon and I still have many things to prepare and ask before the financial year opens which is just next week. Oh man.... Hopefully I will be out of tekong alive... dook ching... One thing's for sure, i seem to prefer tekong more than other camps in Singapore because tekong is like more cosy and "new-looking" than the camps i've been to so far. Haiz... if only BMTC is on mainland.... that would be so much better.

I guess I am feeling better now although there are occasional disturbing feelings that arise within me... I'm still as blur as ever, still trying to understand what ppl is trying to say (although i have no problem understanding my friends and family.... hmmm...), still trying to control myself. I am still very lost as to how to move on and how to get through this. The feeling of not knowing what will happen... Sigh... may the 7 of december 2007 come quickly! Oh well, let me just carry out God's plan for me and try not to bother about things which will not help me in life.

Being a storeman at HQ is not that bad after all. The people at Log Branch are super nice and I guess staying in as a perm staff is not as bad as staying in as a recruit. Firstly, you get more freedom as you can do what you want at night. Secondly, you can sleep at whatever time you like and lastly, you can get up later than usual. Haiz... I guess I am just a trouble maker... causing so much trouble for everyone... Why am I like that? How I wish i can feel better... In fact, I know God has helped me relax and stay calm for the past few days... So i am so thankful for that! Hopefully, tomorrow will be better... we shall see...

"Hallelujah! Jesus is alive!"

At long last, after so many months, I get to return back to Montfort to see the choir. I guess the choir has improved a little under their new conductor so I'm not complaining. However, their discipline is still as bad as ever... haiz...

Anyway, the choir had their party today and it's great to see my juniors again (even though there are many many unfamiliar faces). After so many months, I got to meet Choon and theo! haha... Of course not forgetting Alvin and Ernest (Although I just met them yesterday... =X) Very happy to be able to see all of them again after so so long...

Going back to Montfort brings back so many wonderful memories I had in the school. Choon, Ernest and I lingered around the physical fitness station talking and talking... How relaxing... How I wish I can just relive all these memories again... How I wish I can become the happy Jeremy that I used to be... How I wish I will not be so worried over anything like how I was in the past... sigh... I've grown to become a timid person...

By the way, Miss Loh left Montfort to join Sembawang Sec. Poor thing... Being tortured by the students there. Sigh... Although, Miss Loh and I were not that close, but I still visit her office with Choon and Chase in the past. It was so fun then. Choon will always joke around in the office with Miss Loh and we will laugh our heads off in her office. Sigh... now that she is in another school, we will not be able to enter that Science office ever again. Oh well...

I am posted back to BMTC (stupid island named tekong) as a storeman (euphemised as supply assistant). Sigh... Hopefully I get to stay out and get an 8-5 job... Let God's will be done... Shall see what a storeman does tomorrow... Wish me luck!

"One Single Light...."

Time passes so quickly (I think i have said this too many times... =X)... 1 week since my grandma was cremated. All of us miss our grandma dearly. Sigh... I guess we have to really move on and not brood over it... There are stories that my grandma had visited us during the 7 day period starting from.

Last Sunday night, both my father and I dreamt of my grandma. My father said that my grandmother told him that she is very happy that everyone had turn up for her wake and that even those overseas rushed back to attend her funeral. I hope she is really happy and peaceful in the kingdom of God now. My dream was rather spooky... haha... I dreamt that my whole family was at my grandmother's old house. Suddenly, my grandmother appear beside my aunt and take a look at her. After that, she disappeared again. Then, she appeared beside another person, look at her and disappeared again. I was shouting, "ah ma! ah ma!" and she looked at me, put her fingers to her lips and called me to keep quiet... haha... It seems that only i can see her and no one else can. What a dream... My mother said that she put a packet of rice on top of the rice container one night and the next morning when she looked at it, the packet of rice seems to have depressions on it, as though someone has grabbed it... Hmmmmmm...

Then my cousin told me that one day when her family was eating at the dining table with the television on, the television suddenly switched off by itself. The television was not spoilt at all as the small red light signalling that there is power to the TV was there. Then my cousin went to on it and it seems to be working perfectly well.... hmmmmmm.... My cousin also told me that her mother (my aunt... duh) dreamt of my grandma smiling at her two times the same night.... ooooh

Haiz... I shall just look forward to the future gatherings I am going to have with my family...

Anyway, I have finally stayed in camp (Not that i am keen in staying in at all). The first day was super terrifying for me because I was so scared of staying in, so scared of the place, so scared of the officer... I actually wanted to report sick and get myself warded. But praise God! God guided me through the pass few days, helping me not to get myself warded. Sigh... I went to see the doctor on thursday to show him the letter from my psychiatrist. He gave me sleeping pills because i told him i could not sleep. The sleeping pills were extremely effective. I have been feeling so so sleepy even when i woke up the next day. Wooot! I've been sleeping in the office for the pass few days... haha... Was really very very tired. I don't know why.

My company will be POP-ing soon. At last their 3 months of will be coming to an end soon. Sigh... Glad to know that my platoon, especially my section, are so concern about me and are so caring. Haiz... hopefully I can get out of Tekong soon. I want to leave that place and start my NS life anew somewhere else. I guess I have grown to be scared of that environment. May God guide me and bless us all! Hallelujah!

Will be booking in tomorrow. All i need is to bear with it for 2 days and 2 nights and I will be out soon. Let's just hope that i will be ok for the next few days...

Praise God! I got my A level results today. I have been praying and hoping that I could get what I aimed for. And once again, God has answered my prayer. I got A for Chemistry and Maths and a B for Biology. C5 for GP, a pass! haha... Praise God!

I went to see the psychiatrist today. He downgraded me temporarily to PES C1 L1 which means there is no combat training for me. He also referred me to a counsellor. And he said if I am to have another break down tomorrow, I am to report sick and i will be warded at Alexandra Hospital. Haiz... I am comforted to hear that but then again, I feel so worried and scared. I don't know why I feel this way at the thought of staying in tomorrow. I was shivering just now for no apparent reason. haiz... What's wrong with me? Oh Lord, please help me stay calm and relaxed.

Whatever it is, I should be happy for getting such good grades! Congratulations to the 7 wanderers for great improvements in their results!!! Especially to Meng Yang, Wee Ling and Xiu Li (Xue Li) for getting straigt As!!!!! Praise God!

I shall post some photos of my ang moh nephew and niece. The photos were taken during my grandma's wake... sigh... I miss my grandma...