So fast... It has been 6 days since my grandmother passed away. I am glad to be able to be there for the wake through the 5 days... Praise God! Sigh...
I just don't know how to describe my feelings now. I miss my grandmother a lot and I feel so empty, knowing that I will never get to see her again. Many thoughts ran through my mind for the pass 6 days. I remembered how she waved goodbye at me last Saturday. I remembered her last words for me and my brother were "guai guai gao gao", meaning, be good. I remembered how thin she was and how sick she looked. I remembered how strong she used to be. I remembered how lonely she used to be, staying alone all by herself in a big apartment with no one accompanying her during weekdays. I remembered how I used to visit her on Saturdays when I was small. Sigh... All these things will remain in my memory from now on...
My father said that my grandma passed away peacefully and I am glad to hear that. I'm just sad that I was not able to be there with her during her last moments. I guess its my grandmother's death that brings the whole family together. My cousins who lived overseas came back. Even my ang moh nephew and niece came. The whole family was there, gathered together for once. My uncle said my grandmother was worried that the whole family will split after she pass away. But I'm glad to hear that the whole family agreed to meet up for a gathering once a month.
Everything happened so quickly... Time passes so quickly... My whole family was sad. All misunderstandings were cleared today as a family meeting was held at the columbarium where my grandmother's ashes lie. I just hope I can move on from here and just be glad that my grandma has gone to heaven and enter God's kindom...
"For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son, that whoever believed in Him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Through it all
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hands
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You
I'll sing to you Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hands
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to you
And I wait on you
I'll sing to you Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
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Monday, February 20, 2006
Sigh... My grandmother is really getting weaker and weaker each day. I've been feeling real guilty for the past few weeks. I guess I took my grandmother for granted in the past. I rarely visited her and would even throw stupid tantrums over nothing, making life diffcult for both my parents and my grandmother. My grandmother is really very pitiful. When she was well, not many would visit her and she would live alone, all by herself, in her old apartment. My mother told me that my grandmother told her that she only get to see her children when she is sick. It really saddens me to hear her say that. It makes me feel even more guilty listening to that because it is until now that I start treasuring my grandmother's presence.
I know her time is very short now. She may go anytime now. I will have to be strong and brave through this. God is by my side and I know that God will help my grandmother be peaceful. I don't wish to see her suffer but at the same time, I wish I could do something to pay back all the mistakes that I have done. At least now I learn to love my grandmother more. Praise God for teaching me this lesson. But is it too late for me to make up for the time I've wasted by not seeing her?
I know her time is very short now. She may go anytime now. I will have to be strong and brave through this. God is by my side and I know that God will help my grandmother be peaceful. I don't wish to see her suffer but at the same time, I wish I could do something to pay back all the mistakes that I have done. At least now I learn to love my grandmother more. Praise God for teaching me this lesson. But is it too late for me to make up for the time I've wasted by not seeing her?
Sunday, February 19, 2006
An essay which I was told to write..
This is dedicated to the future recruits of Mohawk Company.
A new chapter of my life began on 8 of December 2005, where I know I will face new challenges and things which I will definitely not get used to. When I first stepped on Pulau Tekong, I have no idea what I will be doing there for the next 13 weeks. All I know is that life will definitely be tough and I will have to face it bravely.
The first few days of BMT seems really long to me because I was beginning to miss home and people back at home; especially my grandmother who is very sick. Even before I entered BMT, I was already facing problems in friendship. Therefore, it was definitely hard for me to try and live the confinement period. My only motivation to carry on with training is home and my parents’ encouragement. Things were not that bad for me through the 14 days of the confinement period. My problem begins during my first book in.
I guess most of us will have this strong feeling during our first book in too. Most of us will definitely feel very demoralized and saddened by the fact that we have to leave our homes and go back for training for another week. I felt terrible on the night where I had to report to Pasir Ris Bus Interchange. The only thing I can tell myself is that I will be out soon as the weekend will come. I told myself that since I have been through 14 days of training, what is that compared to 4 days? My parents did not know how I felt then and I did not want to them to worry about me.
After the adjustment period, training became tougher as we were being punished for anything that we do wrong. I understand that discipline is very important and I accept whatever punishment the sergeants or officers throw at us. However, I was not used to such intense physical exercise and hence, it was quite a challenge for me to brush it off as extra physical training. As time passes, I became more and more fearful of these “extra physical training” which leads me to dread coming back to Tekong before each book in. Also, I began to feel insecure and afraid of everything I do.
Each book in day became a nightmare for me and my parents as I would start to break down and cry. Many would have adapted to the army lifestyle by then but I did not know why I felt dread going bad so terribly. My parents were always encouraging me to be strong and not think so much about training. My grandmother who is sick was also encouraging me, although she did not know that I was facing problems. I guess that further motivates me to persevere through training and accept whatever that comes my way. It was both physically and mentally tiring for me and sometimes I really want to give up because I feel as if I will go mad soon.
It took quite a lot of me to endure through 9 weeks of BMT before deciding to seek help from the Orientation Officer (OO), Mr Chia. I thought that everything would be fine after I went through field camp since it is said to be the toughest part of BMT. However, my grandmother’s condition worsened while I was away and this makes me feel more affected during training. That was when I felt that I could not carry on with training any longer because I would break down most of the time in camp and I feel terrible. The OO referred me to the medical officer (MO) and I was diagnosed with depression. I was given the choice of whether I wish to continue with training or go out of training. The sergeants and officers were very nice as they encouraged me to persevere on for the remaining one month. It took me quite some time before I decided to go out of training because I guess I need this break for me to get my problems resolved before moving on.
All in all, BMT is actually not that bad as you get to learn things you may have not learnt before. For me, it is definitely a new experience and quite an enriching one too. It was my first time holding and handling a real weapon, my first time putting on camou cream on my face, my first time living out in the open for 7 consecutive days without bathing and my first time getting so dirty. All this training has made me tougher physically even though I am still depressed and I will definitely not forget the time I have spent in Mohawk Company.
This is dedicated to the future recruits of Mohawk Company.
A new chapter of my life began on 8 of December 2005, where I know I will face new challenges and things which I will definitely not get used to. When I first stepped on Pulau Tekong, I have no idea what I will be doing there for the next 13 weeks. All I know is that life will definitely be tough and I will have to face it bravely.
The first few days of BMT seems really long to me because I was beginning to miss home and people back at home; especially my grandmother who is very sick. Even before I entered BMT, I was already facing problems in friendship. Therefore, it was definitely hard for me to try and live the confinement period. My only motivation to carry on with training is home and my parents’ encouragement. Things were not that bad for me through the 14 days of the confinement period. My problem begins during my first book in.
I guess most of us will have this strong feeling during our first book in too. Most of us will definitely feel very demoralized and saddened by the fact that we have to leave our homes and go back for training for another week. I felt terrible on the night where I had to report to Pasir Ris Bus Interchange. The only thing I can tell myself is that I will be out soon as the weekend will come. I told myself that since I have been through 14 days of training, what is that compared to 4 days? My parents did not know how I felt then and I did not want to them to worry about me.
After the adjustment period, training became tougher as we were being punished for anything that we do wrong. I understand that discipline is very important and I accept whatever punishment the sergeants or officers throw at us. However, I was not used to such intense physical exercise and hence, it was quite a challenge for me to brush it off as extra physical training. As time passes, I became more and more fearful of these “extra physical training” which leads me to dread coming back to Tekong before each book in. Also, I began to feel insecure and afraid of everything I do.
Each book in day became a nightmare for me and my parents as I would start to break down and cry. Many would have adapted to the army lifestyle by then but I did not know why I felt dread going bad so terribly. My parents were always encouraging me to be strong and not think so much about training. My grandmother who is sick was also encouraging me, although she did not know that I was facing problems. I guess that further motivates me to persevere through training and accept whatever that comes my way. It was both physically and mentally tiring for me and sometimes I really want to give up because I feel as if I will go mad soon.
It took quite a lot of me to endure through 9 weeks of BMT before deciding to seek help from the Orientation Officer (OO), Mr Chia. I thought that everything would be fine after I went through field camp since it is said to be the toughest part of BMT. However, my grandmother’s condition worsened while I was away and this makes me feel more affected during training. That was when I felt that I could not carry on with training any longer because I would break down most of the time in camp and I feel terrible. The OO referred me to the medical officer (MO) and I was diagnosed with depression. I was given the choice of whether I wish to continue with training or go out of training. The sergeants and officers were very nice as they encouraged me to persevere on for the remaining one month. It took me quite some time before I decided to go out of training because I guess I need this break for me to get my problems resolved before moving on.
All in all, BMT is actually not that bad as you get to learn things you may have not learnt before. For me, it is definitely a new experience and quite an enriching one too. It was my first time holding and handling a real weapon, my first time putting on camou cream on my face, my first time living out in the open for 7 consecutive days without bathing and my first time getting so dirty. All this training has made me tougher physically even though I am still depressed and I will definitely not forget the time I have spent in Mohawk Company.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
How's life after being an OOT for almost 2 weeks? Alright I guess...
Glad to have one thing in my mind cleared today. Praise God for answering my prayer! Hmmm... I have a feeling that I will go senile soon... At such a young age too... These few days (or rather the past few weeks), my memory is so bad that I can even forget what I want to do even though I have just thought about it a second before. Also, I have difficulty understanding people too (Maybe just my sergeants and officers... I don't know). Sigh... Is it a sign? Hmmm...
I am made to watch Jarhead and write an essay regarding how I persevered 9 weeks of training before choosing to go out of training. The movie is sounds nice when described by one of the sergeants. But after watching it, it seems that my fear for war has increased! Seeing the marines getting so enthusiastic and cheerful seeing bombs being dropped on villages with many innocent people living in it really scares me. How sadistic can they get? We are dealing with innocent lives here for God's sake. And when the staff sergeant in the movie ask the soldiers to throw away one of the ten commandments (Thou shalt not kill), I was like.... haiz... sad... Why must a war be started? Why must our peace be threatened? Oh well... I guess its just me, being afraid of this and that. Sigh...
For the past 3 days, I've been visiting my grandmother. Things does not look promising at this stage. My grandmother is getting weaker and weaker each day. I really don't want to see her suffer like this. But then again, I don't want to see her go too. I guess that's a selfish thought. Sigh...
My status will end on monday and I am beginning to feel a little crazy again. Haiz... problems problems problems... dumb me... God will help me... I know... Its all up to me now, ain't it?
Jesus loves me yes I know, For the bible tells me so...
Glad to have one thing in my mind cleared today. Praise God for answering my prayer! Hmmm... I have a feeling that I will go senile soon... At such a young age too... These few days (or rather the past few weeks), my memory is so bad that I can even forget what I want to do even though I have just thought about it a second before. Also, I have difficulty understanding people too (Maybe just my sergeants and officers... I don't know). Sigh... Is it a sign? Hmmm...
I am made to watch Jarhead and write an essay regarding how I persevered 9 weeks of training before choosing to go out of training. The movie is sounds nice when described by one of the sergeants. But after watching it, it seems that my fear for war has increased! Seeing the marines getting so enthusiastic and cheerful seeing bombs being dropped on villages with many innocent people living in it really scares me. How sadistic can they get? We are dealing with innocent lives here for God's sake. And when the staff sergeant in the movie ask the soldiers to throw away one of the ten commandments (Thou shalt not kill), I was like.... haiz... sad... Why must a war be started? Why must our peace be threatened? Oh well... I guess its just me, being afraid of this and that. Sigh...
For the past 3 days, I've been visiting my grandmother. Things does not look promising at this stage. My grandmother is getting weaker and weaker each day. I really don't want to see her suffer like this. But then again, I don't want to see her go too. I guess that's a selfish thought. Sigh...
My status will end on monday and I am beginning to feel a little crazy again. Haiz... problems problems problems... dumb me... God will help me... I know... Its all up to me now, ain't it?
Jesus loves me yes I know, For the bible tells me so...
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Wow... It had been a long time since I last blogged. The reason for my long absence is that I am currently serving the nation. Sigh... that's where everything begins...
I guess was not ready when I was enlisted. I started out NS in a wrong state of mind. Feeling troubled, worried and home sick. At first things went out pretty well for me. The experience in the army is indeed valuable, for me at least. Never in my life have I sweat like no body's business and never in my life did I smell like a one million smelly old socks soaked in water together with rotten fishes. I've learnt many many things like how to handle a rifle, the different types of formations and methods to handle an enemy attack or attack an enemy, putting on green and black cream on your face and eating food which have a nice name but actually tasted disgusting. haha... all my firsts... My fitness and appetite definitely improved after I entered the army and I have become much tanner than before.
Sigh... Currently, I am out of training because the doctor said that I have depression. I opted for it. There are many many things on my mind which i really don't know how to say. I don't know why i feel like this and I don't know if I've made the right choice. I know God is always by my side but I don't know why I just feel so helpless, so lonely, so... sad... Because of this my parents were very affected and extremely upset about it. It really hurts me to see my parents like this but I just can't seem to control my emotions. At least I know that there are people who really care for me. My sergeants are really very nice to me and I don't know how to thank them. Even during field camp, my platoon sergeants and section commanders are always helping me. But I still end up feeling this way...
Now, I am referred to a psychiatrist for depression and I will see how things go. Being out of training (OOT) is not that bad after all. I am excused from staying in camp for 2 weeks meaning that i will be in camp from 8 to 5/6pm during weekdays and timing for saturday depends. As an OOT, we do admin stuff and help out when needed. Otherwise, we will be in the company office waiting for orders.
Praise God for guiding me through so far for the past 2 months. I know there is 1 month more to go but I guess i just needed this break from training. Let's see what God has installed for me for the next two years. My A level results will be out soon and I don't know if I will do well for it... Sigh... Hopefully, everything turns out well.
A love hate relationship with Mohawk Company... haiz...
I guess was not ready when I was enlisted. I started out NS in a wrong state of mind. Feeling troubled, worried and home sick. At first things went out pretty well for me. The experience in the army is indeed valuable, for me at least. Never in my life have I sweat like no body's business and never in my life did I smell like a one million smelly old socks soaked in water together with rotten fishes. I've learnt many many things like how to handle a rifle, the different types of formations and methods to handle an enemy attack or attack an enemy, putting on green and black cream on your face and eating food which have a nice name but actually tasted disgusting. haha... all my firsts... My fitness and appetite definitely improved after I entered the army and I have become much tanner than before.
Sigh... Currently, I am out of training because the doctor said that I have depression. I opted for it. There are many many things on my mind which i really don't know how to say. I don't know why i feel like this and I don't know if I've made the right choice. I know God is always by my side but I don't know why I just feel so helpless, so lonely, so... sad... Because of this my parents were very affected and extremely upset about it. It really hurts me to see my parents like this but I just can't seem to control my emotions. At least I know that there are people who really care for me. My sergeants are really very nice to me and I don't know how to thank them. Even during field camp, my platoon sergeants and section commanders are always helping me. But I still end up feeling this way...
Now, I am referred to a psychiatrist for depression and I will see how things go. Being out of training (OOT) is not that bad after all. I am excused from staying in camp for 2 weeks meaning that i will be in camp from 8 to 5/6pm during weekdays and timing for saturday depends. As an OOT, we do admin stuff and help out when needed. Otherwise, we will be in the company office waiting for orders.
Praise God for guiding me through so far for the past 2 months. I know there is 1 month more to go but I guess i just needed this break from training. Let's see what God has installed for me for the next two years. My A level results will be out soon and I don't know if I will do well for it... Sigh... Hopefully, everything turns out well.
A love hate relationship with Mohawk Company... haiz...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Son of God
Hold my hand and walk with me
You're the Light that makes me see
On this path my soul You lead
O my Shepherd walk with me
You're the Light that makes me see
On this path my soul You lead
O my Shepherd walk with me
I need You more then breath
You're my hope in You I live
Angels worship at Your throne
Power and Glory to You alone
You're my hope in You I live
Angels worship at Your throne
Power and Glory to You alone
My Saviour
Glorious one
My Redeemer
Living in my heart
Now and forever
Your Kingdom come
Jesus Son of God
Jesus Son of God
Glorious one
My Redeemer
Living in my heart
Now and forever
Your Kingdom come
Jesus Son of God
Jesus Son of God
I need You more then breath
You're my hope in You I live
Angels worship at Your throne
Power and Glory to You alone
My Saviour
Glorious one
My Redeemer
Living in my heart
Now and forever
Your Kingdom come
Jesus Son of God
Jesus Son of God
Jesus,O Jesus
Holy is The Lamb of God
Jesus,O Jesus
Worthy is The Lamb of God
Holy is The Lamb of God
Jesus,O Jesus
Worthy is The Lamb of God
My Saviour
Glorious one
My Redeemer
Living in my heart
Now and forever
Your Kingdom come
Jesus Son of God
Jesus Son of God
Glorious one
My Redeemer
Living in my heart
Now and forever
Your Kingdom come
Jesus Son of God
Jesus Son of God
I love this song so so much... So so nice!!
Sunday, November 27, 2005
It had been a long time since I last stepped into Nativity Church. Yesterday, Paul asked me to go to Nativity to listen to the combined choir practice for Christmas. Wow... They were amazing. Just amazing... They sang Exultate Deus, O Holy Night, I Wander as I Wander (By John Rutter) and Angel's Carol (By John Rutter). VJ Choir sang Exultate Deus for the Choir Olympics last year and after listening to Nativity choir last night, I was so shocked and yet amazed by their standard. They sounded quite like the recording done by VJ choir. Considering that they practice only once every week for that song and the choir comprised of people from different age groups (both young and old), making it difficult for them to come together and meet, they actually sounded quite good! Even though there were only 4 basses and 10 over sopranos, the basses can still be heard very clearly! Wow... I miss singing with them. In fact, I miss singing in a choir... Sigh... I remembered I joined the Nativity Choir for the past two years, singing for Monty Thursday (Holy Thursday), Good Friday and Easter Vigil. The experience is definitely wonderful! Anyway, I am very happy to be able to listen to them sing again because it has been more than a year since I last saw the aunties and uncles.
I feel quite happy today. Being able to go out with my family and cousins... haha... Funny bunch of people. Today's service was rather enriching too! It's about the Manila Miracle Revival and we get to listen to some of the gospelighters' testimony on the event. The miracles are really so great! So wonderful! And I am constantly reminded that with faith, anything is possible and that is the one message that I really need at this point of time... haha... Family and friends. They are just so important in our life! But whatever it is, life is brief and we will enter a better and wonderful place in future when we return to God! Woohoo! Praise God for all that he has done for us!
I feel quite happy today. Being able to go out with my family and cousins... haha... Funny bunch of people. Today's service was rather enriching too! It's about the Manila Miracle Revival and we get to listen to some of the gospelighters' testimony on the event. The miracles are really so great! So wonderful! And I am constantly reminded that with faith, anything is possible and that is the one message that I really need at this point of time... haha... Family and friends. They are just so important in our life! But whatever it is, life is brief and we will enter a better and wonderful place in future when we return to God! Woohoo! Praise God for all that he has done for us!
Friday, November 25, 2005
Finally, the A level Examinations are over... The gruelling 3 weeks which we all have to go through has finally come to an end. I know I should be happy and all but I just feel weird... lost... confused... By quite a number of things.
In less than 2 weeks time, I will be opening a new chapter of my life. 8 of December will be the day I give up my freedom for the nation (hahaha =x) and I guess I am feeling a little scared. I really don't know how life will be like in there (obviously)... sigh...
It has been more than a month since I felt depressed... Through this period of time, I've learnt to really ignore my troubles and worries in preparation of my examinations. I guess the exams serve as a "distraction" for me to run away from my feelings. So many things happened through this period of time. I have drawn myself closer to the 7 wanderers. During the examination period, we went to Orchard to relax and shop around even though we still have 3 papers left. After our last second paper, we went to watch Harry Potter together even though we still have 1 paper left. I really feel so happy together with my bunch of friends and I really thank them for making my life in Meridian so colourful. While we were out, I just feel weird at first... I was reminded of many many things... Things which I am thankful and grateful for because it made me very happy... And yet, I feel sad... Sad that things may not be the same again... Things change so quickly through this period of time. I'm trying to move on... just move on...
Sometimes I really wonder... When one says, "We must keep in contact k?" or "We will definitely be friends forever!" To what extent will one truly go out and fulfill this statement. I had a friend once during lower secondary. A close senior and friend. He would always ask me to keep in contact with him. But after he went to JC, we just did not keep in touch with each other. And there you go, one close friend lost... Now, I am trying to treasure the friends I have now and hopefully, as we move on in life, our friendship will never fall...
In less than 2 weeks time, I will be opening a new chapter of my life. 8 of December will be the day I give up my freedom for the nation (hahaha =x) and I guess I am feeling a little scared. I really don't know how life will be like in there (obviously)... sigh...
It has been more than a month since I felt depressed... Through this period of time, I've learnt to really ignore my troubles and worries in preparation of my examinations. I guess the exams serve as a "distraction" for me to run away from my feelings. So many things happened through this period of time. I have drawn myself closer to the 7 wanderers. During the examination period, we went to Orchard to relax and shop around even though we still have 3 papers left. After our last second paper, we went to watch Harry Potter together even though we still have 1 paper left. I really feel so happy together with my bunch of friends and I really thank them for making my life in Meridian so colourful. While we were out, I just feel weird at first... I was reminded of many many things... Things which I am thankful and grateful for because it made me very happy... And yet, I feel sad... Sad that things may not be the same again... Things change so quickly through this period of time. I'm trying to move on... just move on...
Sometimes I really wonder... When one says, "We must keep in contact k?" or "We will definitely be friends forever!" To what extent will one truly go out and fulfill this statement. I had a friend once during lower secondary. A close senior and friend. He would always ask me to keep in contact with him. But after he went to JC, we just did not keep in touch with each other. And there you go, one close friend lost... Now, I am trying to treasure the friends I have now and hopefully, as we move on in life, our friendship will never fall...
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Footprints in the Sand
One night a man had a dream. He dreamt he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that if happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all teh way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
This story is so inspiring. Indeed, the LORD is always by our side when we most needed HIM. Whenever I feel down and sad and I start to pray, I know that HE is comforting me and trying to make me feel better. And I really feel better in the end. God really helped me get through the most troubled times in my life and I am so thankful for that. Praise God! Today, I feel better after what happened during the past 3 weeks. God answered my prayer and I am so grateful for that! Never doubt HIM. HE IS THE TRUE AND LIVING GOD! Hallelujah! Praise God!
John 14:6Jesus said,"I am the way, the truth and the life. No one
comes to the Father except through me.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Woohoo!! The A levels is coming!!! 3 more days... I don't even know if I am prepared. I feel prepared for Chemistry (Abit lar...), I feel ok for maths... As for Biology, I just pray hard that I can answer whatever questions that they throw to me because I have not been practicing TYS for Biology but keep on doing TYS for Chem and Maths... Hopefully, I will be ready by then.
Hmmm... While all my friends are studying so hard at home, I can still find time to slack!! I am so crazy!!! Not as if I am a smart ass or what... but I have not motivation to study... SO SO BAD!!! SCREAM!!!! On Thursday, I went to Pasir Ris Park with my family and my cousins and I went cycling. 5 days to A levels and I still can go cycling... haha... I am just so crazy... Anyway, I guess I need that break because I have been at home for the past few days mugging my butt out for the A levels. Ahhhh... How I hope it won't be a re run of my O levels...
Thursday was a very fun day for me I guess. The cycling session with my cousins was great! It had been a while since I last cycled (In september actually... haha) and as usual, many memories flow pass my mind (I am so sentimental... gosh!). We drove past Costa Sands Resort and I remembered by carolling session there when I was in Secondary 1. We combined with Pei Cai choir and sang right in front of the swimming pool. I can still picture myself wearing that purply pink hawaiian shirt and black pants and singing the Christmas carol. Then, it rained suddenly (I don't think its because of our singing...) so we had to move in doors. We just sang and sang and sang. Even if there was no one listening to us, we just keep on singing. haha... It was rather fun! So relaxed and enjoyable! Hmmm... I guess I was a happy little kid then. No troubles, no worries... Just enjoy enjoy enjoy. But, hey, as we grow up, we have more responsibilities and I guess being busy with so many things is inevitable. Anyway, we celebrated Mrs Lee's birthday then... Haha... Although Mrs Lee can be very nasty, I know she is still a nice lady inside (somewhere...). Thinking back on the way she act and speak, I can't help but laugh at her. She got so many funny actions. Even when she scolds, its also funny. But her character a bit bad lar... So we I shan't say much...
Then, as I cycled through Pasir Ris Park, I remembered how my family used to camp there, by the sea. My cousins and I will sit around and talk through the night. The adults will talk among themselves. Hmmmz... It was just so fun.
Aiya... For now, I guess I will just have to live through the next 3 weeks before I can start enjoying all I want... Time passes very quickly indeed... It will end soon... soon...
Praise God!
Hmmm... While all my friends are studying so hard at home, I can still find time to slack!! I am so crazy!!! Not as if I am a smart ass or what... but I have not motivation to study... SO SO BAD!!! SCREAM!!!! On Thursday, I went to Pasir Ris Park with my family and my cousins and I went cycling. 5 days to A levels and I still can go cycling... haha... I am just so crazy... Anyway, I guess I need that break because I have been at home for the past few days mugging my butt out for the A levels. Ahhhh... How I hope it won't be a re run of my O levels...
Thursday was a very fun day for me I guess. The cycling session with my cousins was great! It had been a while since I last cycled (In september actually... haha) and as usual, many memories flow pass my mind (I am so sentimental... gosh!). We drove past Costa Sands Resort and I remembered by carolling session there when I was in Secondary 1. We combined with Pei Cai choir and sang right in front of the swimming pool. I can still picture myself wearing that purply pink hawaiian shirt and black pants and singing the Christmas carol. Then, it rained suddenly (I don't think its because of our singing...) so we had to move in doors. We just sang and sang and sang. Even if there was no one listening to us, we just keep on singing. haha... It was rather fun! So relaxed and enjoyable! Hmmm... I guess I was a happy little kid then. No troubles, no worries... Just enjoy enjoy enjoy. But, hey, as we grow up, we have more responsibilities and I guess being busy with so many things is inevitable. Anyway, we celebrated Mrs Lee's birthday then... Haha... Although Mrs Lee can be very nasty, I know she is still a nice lady inside (somewhere...). Thinking back on the way she act and speak, I can't help but laugh at her. She got so many funny actions. Even when she scolds, its also funny. But her character a bit bad lar... So we I shan't say much...
Then, as I cycled through Pasir Ris Park, I remembered how my family used to camp there, by the sea. My cousins and I will sit around and talk through the night. The adults will talk among themselves. Hmmmz... It was just so fun.
Aiya... For now, I guess I will just have to live through the next 3 weeks before I can start enjoying all I want... Time passes very quickly indeed... It will end soon... soon...
Praise God!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Great... Another day has past and its one more day closer to the A levels (Which also means that it is one day closer to the end of A levels!). All I want is my two weeks of relaxation before I enter the army. Sigh... so fast...
Anyway, I have been thinking about my past lately. Today, as I was playing One Single Light on my keyboard, I was thinking about Montfort Chorale (Montfort Music Society then...) and how time haS past so quickly. Yesterday, I read through posts which I had written in the past and they were about how I would miss my friends and how I would miss my school. Now, two years have already past and my friends in Montfort Chorale has already left Montfort for a year and another batch of juniors have graduated this year. So fast... So so fast...
Thank God for allowing us to keep in touch always. Even though most of us have already entered different schools, we still kept in touch here and there and we also had MCA meetings at my house every saturday (not many turn up lar... but still a gathering...). Praise God! May our friendship grow stronger each year and may we never fall! MCA forever! haha...
I guess I had really went through alot since my secondary school days. During my lower sec days, I had a very fierce and bit*hy form teacher and I survived those two years of "misery". Actually, it was rather fun as my lower sec class was somewhat united and we know how to handle situations. Hiakzz! Then, during my upper sec days, I had many wonderful teachers whom I truly respect. I found a very close and fun group of friends and we named ourselves the planets and Holland V Montfort. haha... It was really very very funny those days. My Chemistry Communication Challenge which I will definitely not forget as we Chem Crusaders had really learnt a lot of things from it and we also learnt to be independent as Mrs Quek was on MC for a long period of time and we had to do most of the things ourselves during the finals. At least, we got into the finals and we are already very happy about it! Of course, not forgetting my choir days in Montfort. Having to change a conductor almost every year was something very very unpleasant. I have described the "history" of my days in choir before under the post on happy fish i think... haha... I will not forget my wonderful 3M1E and my wonderful wonderful choir committee and choir members... Yea... All these things have really created a huge impact on me. And these memories will stay by me forever.
Life in a Junior College is so brief and short. During the first three months of last year, I was praying like crazy that I could enter Meridian. Now, I have officially graduated from Meridian. Through these two years, I have learnt a lot of things not just in terms of studies. I've learnt to conquer my fears, treasure things which I really don't wish to lose and also, work towards my goal. I've achieved many many things in JC too. I had the experience of staging 3 concerts and had sang in a combined choir before. I even experienced how it feels like to get a Gold for SYF! haha... The choir really worked very hard for SYF. We went through a lot with Mr Kwei and Mr Yong and I guess, we have earned and learnt many many things out of it. Although we were aiming for Gold with Honors, a Gold is still good enough since we are the only choir which is not under the Choral Excellence Programme. Yea! All these things, I truly miss.
Looking back at my past, I really can't help but feel that I am really very very lucky. Really lucky to have people who care, to be exposed to so many things. Thank God for allowing all these things to come into my life! As for now, I shall post some random photos again, photos which really make me think about what I have now and what I had in the past... I will definitely treasure my friends now because I really don't want to regret if anything is to happen in future. (*Touch wood*). Anyway, here are the photos in both my JC and secondary school days... enjoy...
Anyway, I have been thinking about my past lately. Today, as I was playing One Single Light on my keyboard, I was thinking about Montfort Chorale (Montfort Music Society then...) and how time haS past so quickly. Yesterday, I read through posts which I had written in the past and they were about how I would miss my friends and how I would miss my school. Now, two years have already past and my friends in Montfort Chorale has already left Montfort for a year and another batch of juniors have graduated this year. So fast... So so fast...
Thank God for allowing us to keep in touch always. Even though most of us have already entered different schools, we still kept in touch here and there and we also had MCA meetings at my house every saturday (not many turn up lar... but still a gathering...). Praise God! May our friendship grow stronger each year and may we never fall! MCA forever! haha...
I guess I had really went through alot since my secondary school days. During my lower sec days, I had a very fierce and bit*hy form teacher and I survived those two years of "misery". Actually, it was rather fun as my lower sec class was somewhat united and we know how to handle situations. Hiakzz! Then, during my upper sec days, I had many wonderful teachers whom I truly respect. I found a very close and fun group of friends and we named ourselves the planets and Holland V Montfort. haha... It was really very very funny those days. My Chemistry Communication Challenge which I will definitely not forget as we Chem Crusaders had really learnt a lot of things from it and we also learnt to be independent as Mrs Quek was on MC for a long period of time and we had to do most of the things ourselves during the finals. At least, we got into the finals and we are already very happy about it! Of course, not forgetting my choir days in Montfort. Having to change a conductor almost every year was something very very unpleasant. I have described the "history" of my days in choir before under the post on happy fish i think... haha... I will not forget my wonderful 3M1E and my wonderful wonderful choir committee and choir members... Yea... All these things have really created a huge impact on me. And these memories will stay by me forever.
Life in a Junior College is so brief and short. During the first three months of last year, I was praying like crazy that I could enter Meridian. Now, I have officially graduated from Meridian. Through these two years, I have learnt a lot of things not just in terms of studies. I've learnt to conquer my fears, treasure things which I really don't wish to lose and also, work towards my goal. I've achieved many many things in JC too. I had the experience of staging 3 concerts and had sang in a combined choir before. I even experienced how it feels like to get a Gold for SYF! haha... The choir really worked very hard for SYF. We went through a lot with Mr Kwei and Mr Yong and I guess, we have earned and learnt many many things out of it. Although we were aiming for Gold with Honors, a Gold is still good enough since we are the only choir which is not under the Choral Excellence Programme. Yea! All these things, I truly miss.
Looking back at my past, I really can't help but feel that I am really very very lucky. Really lucky to have people who care, to be exposed to so many things. Thank God for allowing all these things to come into my life! As for now, I shall post some random photos again, photos which really make me think about what I have now and what I had in the past... I will definitely treasure my friends now because I really don't want to regret if anything is to happen in future. (*Touch wood*). Anyway, here are the photos in both my JC and secondary school days... enjoy...
Friends
3 Musketeers and 1 Extra! (2005)
The 3 Musketeers and 1 Extra! notice that our position is the direct opposite from the picture above... haha
Jason, me and Choon
Mr Chua and my clique in class... haha
A trip to Sentosa after prelims!
The planets without Melvin and Ching Si... (During La Risonanza I)
The planets/Holland V
The Chem Crusaders with Mrs Quek and Mrs Tan-Sin
MJChoir Days
MJChoir!
MJChoir Basses 2005
Year 2 Choir members
La Risonanza II
Not forgeting my beloved Montfort Choir peeps!
Montfort Chorale 2002 (After Founder's Day)
Montfort Chorale 2003 (Before SYF 2003)
Montfort Chorale 2004 (During Montpressivo I)
The beloved committee of 2003
We just rock! (Taken last year)
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Studying all day seems to make me feel so crazy. I was singing facts to myself as I was studying... Really, one of these days, I will definitely move to the wonderful village/chalet located near my house. I will just post some family photos online for the fun of it... Anyway, no one realised that I have reopened my blog, so who cares... right? haha... Here are some of the people whom I love and treasure...
Family
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Wow... I feel so much better today! After attending service today, I feel so light. As if my troubles and worries are lifted away. Praise God! My questions are answered through today's service. I feel as if God is telling me what to do and how to overcome my problems and it really feels good!
It has been a long time since I had such a good laugh. Today, my cousins and I were trying to take photos of ourselves by ourselves. smackin! haha... I shall post photos online after I learn how to do it. I remembered the last time since I had such a good laugh was when choon came to my house and we were typing this long funny message on the Montfort Chorale MSN groups. Sigh... Time really passes so quickly. It feels as if I have just entered Meridian yesterday. Although the time spent in Meridian is a short 1 +++ years, I guess it is a rather fruitful one. Sigh... My A levels are coming. Hopefully, I will be prepared by then... sianess...
Our first attempt to take a picture of the five of us by ourselves...
Our second attempt...
Our third attempt...
Finally... one successful attempt...
My cousins and I were like one bunch of crazy people sitting by the bench trying to take pictures of ourselve... I was laughing my head off man! haha... Anyway, it was really fun and I truly enjoyed myself. Not just that night but the whole day. Thank you Lord!
It has been a long time since I had such a good laugh. Today, my cousins and I were trying to take photos of ourselves by ourselves. smackin! haha... I shall post photos online after I learn how to do it. I remembered the last time since I had such a good laugh was when choon came to my house and we were typing this long funny message on the Montfort Chorale MSN groups. Sigh... Time really passes so quickly. It feels as if I have just entered Meridian yesterday. Although the time spent in Meridian is a short 1 +++ years, I guess it is a rather fruitful one. Sigh... My A levels are coming. Hopefully, I will be prepared by then... sianess...
Our first attempt to take a picture of the five of us by ourselves...
Our second attempt...
Our third attempt...
Finally... one successful attempt...
My cousins and I were like one bunch of crazy people sitting by the bench trying to take pictures of ourselve... I was laughing my head off man! haha... Anyway, it was really fun and I truly enjoyed myself. Not just that night but the whole day. Thank you Lord!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Sigh... The A levels are coming. I am feeling so stressed and depressed. So many things are bothering me now. I really don't know what to do but to turn to God. I will always feel so comforted after talking to God but things will always be ruined after some time when my stupid brain starts to lose faith and think about those pessimistic things. Sometimes I really feel like I am going to go mad soon. I am really trying my best to hold on and persevere towards the end. I am really trying my best to be strong in my Faith. Why must the evil devil ruin this for me? I feel so weak, so vulnerable.
This past two weeks have not been a very good one for me. I guess I am just being affected by so many things now. I want to do well for my A levels. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I've made during my O levels. And yet, it seems that history is repeating itself again. Sigh... I really feel so numb, so tired! How I wish this chapter of my life will end soon. Sigh...
Trust in God and in Him you will find great riches. Faith, I tell you, can move mountains.
How I wish I will not be affected so easily... How I wish time will pass by quickly... How I wish I can be strong, stronger than before...
Whatever it is, PRAISE GOD! for being my guide, for being by my side whenever I am feeling sad, down and depressed, for calming me down whenever I feel agitated, for guiding me through each day!
This past two weeks have not been a very good one for me. I guess I am just being affected by so many things now. I want to do well for my A levels. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I've made during my O levels. And yet, it seems that history is repeating itself again. Sigh... I really feel so numb, so tired! How I wish this chapter of my life will end soon. Sigh...
Trust in God and in Him you will find great riches. Faith, I tell you, can move mountains.
How I wish I will not be affected so easily... How I wish time will pass by quickly... How I wish I can be strong, stronger than before...
Whatever it is, PRAISE GOD! for being my guide, for being by my side whenever I am feeling sad, down and depressed, for calming me down whenever I feel agitated, for guiding me through each day!
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Wow... 2 weeks since school started. Everything is happening so quickly. Got into a new class. Had great teachers! Received my enlistment notice... 2 chapters for each subject covered in just 2 weeks. Its so fast. I am getting tired more and more easily. Lost my stamina and all. Help me!
Anyway, MJC choir will be having a concert! woohoo! SYF is confirmed. Year 1s are enthusiastic. 8 male Year 1s. Haiz... am really really very tired. Lost. Montfort Chorale improved quite alot. whatever... this entry has no direction... going to do homework liaoz... haizz
Anyway, MJC choir will be having a concert! woohoo! SYF is confirmed. Year 1s are enthusiastic. 8 male Year 1s. Haiz... am really really very tired. Lost. Montfort Chorale improved quite alot. whatever... this entry has no direction... going to do homework liaoz... haizz
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Christmas came and went...
Heyzz! belated merry christmas! Hmmmz... I guess this year's Christmas eve was the best i had ever had in my life... Last year was best Christmas day... haha...
Joel's House
This year Joel invited me and a group of friends to his house to celebrate Christmas again! =) As usual the food was great and also I was laughing like crazy again. Got to met a few of my friends whom I had not met for a looonnnnngggg time. Wow! Great to see them again. Jason Tang and Nikki always amuse me with their bitching and jokes whenever I am with them. They never fail to make me laugh till my stomach hurts. Met Ching Si too, someone I have not met ever since the East Coast BBQ gathering thingy... Things changed. Time passes so quickly and here we are in 2004 waiting for 2005 to come... sigh... Anyway, there was the usual singing of carols. I only sang the 12 days of Christmas with Joel and family before taking my leave.
Mid-Night Mass
Rushed down to Nativity Church immediately from Joel's house to catch the Christmas Service, "Hear the Joyous News". Wasn't feeling good when i was in the bus. Tight chest, shallow breathing and what have you. I just felt so uncomfortable and of course, rather nervous and shaky. I wonder why... But the feeling left me when i was at church, listening to the choir sing and all. I feel so safe and happy when i am in the house of God. =) Ah... Happiness... The combined choir sang well on that night. Actually, I thought i would be hearing the choir sing by myself outside the church. But Clement came for the Midnight mass and he decided to stay outside the church with me throughout the service. Hiakz... Glad that he came, if not I would have been lonely and not only that, i would not have attended the Mid night mass. Hmmmz... Its my first time attending the Mid night mass and the feeling was great. Although Clement and I were talking away throughout the course of the mass (oops... haha =x), the atmosphere was alright (Because of the singing i guess... haha). It has been a long time since i attended mass (the last time i went was when i am singing with the combine choir for easter vigil) and its great to attend mass after a long break from it.
Christmas Day
Sigh... Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart...
This is so true. I didn't have the Christmas feeling this year... Its more like a Mother's birthday thing than a Christmas day... Went to Paul's house for awhile to release some boredom but still like that... haha... Haizz.... as I grow older, i begin to lose the christmasy feeling. Although there was gift exchange with my friends, card sending as usual, but its still like that... Normal. Christmas marks the 1 week count down to school reopen. Sianness... Its gonna be a tiring 2005 for me. The tension will definitely be great and I am definitely going to be stressed out like nobody's business. Haiz...
God work miracles. I believe in it... do you?
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7
May I have a new beginning next year. May everyone have a blessed 2005...
Joel's House
This year Joel invited me and a group of friends to his house to celebrate Christmas again! =) As usual the food was great and also I was laughing like crazy again. Got to met a few of my friends whom I had not met for a looonnnnngggg time. Wow! Great to see them again. Jason Tang and Nikki always amuse me with their bitching and jokes whenever I am with them. They never fail to make me laugh till my stomach hurts. Met Ching Si too, someone I have not met ever since the East Coast BBQ gathering thingy... Things changed. Time passes so quickly and here we are in 2004 waiting for 2005 to come... sigh... Anyway, there was the usual singing of carols. I only sang the 12 days of Christmas with Joel and family before taking my leave.
Mid-Night Mass
Rushed down to Nativity Church immediately from Joel's house to catch the Christmas Service, "Hear the Joyous News". Wasn't feeling good when i was in the bus. Tight chest, shallow breathing and what have you. I just felt so uncomfortable and of course, rather nervous and shaky. I wonder why... But the feeling left me when i was at church, listening to the choir sing and all. I feel so safe and happy when i am in the house of God. =) Ah... Happiness... The combined choir sang well on that night. Actually, I thought i would be hearing the choir sing by myself outside the church. But Clement came for the Midnight mass and he decided to stay outside the church with me throughout the service. Hiakz... Glad that he came, if not I would have been lonely and not only that, i would not have attended the Mid night mass. Hmmmz... Its my first time attending the Mid night mass and the feeling was great. Although Clement and I were talking away throughout the course of the mass (oops... haha =x), the atmosphere was alright (Because of the singing i guess... haha). It has been a long time since i attended mass (the last time i went was when i am singing with the combine choir for easter vigil) and its great to attend mass after a long break from it.
Christmas Day
Sigh... Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart...
This is so true. I didn't have the Christmas feeling this year... Its more like a Mother's birthday thing than a Christmas day... Went to Paul's house for awhile to release some boredom but still like that... haha... Haizz.... as I grow older, i begin to lose the christmasy feeling. Although there was gift exchange with my friends, card sending as usual, but its still like that... Normal. Christmas marks the 1 week count down to school reopen. Sianness... Its gonna be a tiring 2005 for me. The tension will definitely be great and I am definitely going to be stressed out like nobody's business. Haiz...
God work miracles. I believe in it... do you?
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7
May I have a new beginning next year. May everyone have a blessed 2005...
Friday, December 24, 2004
Christmas Eve is here!
Halo people! Okay... fine... i've been quite lazy these few days... Anyway, Christmas day is tomorrow!! yippee! Looking forward to tonight though. Will be going to Joel's house later and will rush down to Nativity for their "Hear the Joyous News!" at 11pm.
I was at Junction 8 just now with my friend and we sort of met this group of noisy girls giggling and talking about chrisy poo touching them... wanting to kiss sly under the mistletoe and what sueing so and so for sexual arrestment and what not. They are just irritating. My friend was developing 100+ photo and some machine which develops digital photos... And it is sought of our fault for not telling them that we will be taking a long time because we are developing 100+ photographs from one pathetic machine. But they called us names and started bitching us when my friend and I walked away... how unintelligent, unglamarous and dumb. Fancy calling people names just because they had to wait for 30 minutes. Okay, so my friend should not have said "too bad we were here first" but they should just take it in their stride and keep quiet what. Why must call us names... as if it will help with the situation. If they don't want to wait, then they should ask us how long we are going to take or something, but noooooooooooooo... they were there making so much noise, talking at the top of their voice about those Singapore Idols. I guess those girls did not bathe for quite a few days since their precious chrisy poo touched them... cannot wash the essence of his touch away... just kidding... Anyway, the aunty at the shop came out and asked them to keep their voices down, how exciting... They are lucky that I am not in a bitchy mood, if not... hmmmz... no one can tell what i will do... (actually nothing much larz... just talk back lorz...) but... yea... how irritating...
Hmmmz... Christmas is coming, which means school will reopen soon... Oh man... dreading for that day to come. As you can see, my English standard is deproving like crazy. I wonder why... hmmmmz... Yea, My mum's birthday is tomorrow. Which reminds me, I havent got her a present yet... haha... oops =x. Maybe I will sneak out tomorrow and buy her something. A cake maybe... Sigh... A levels coming in 11 months time... stressed...
I was at Junction 8 just now with my friend and we sort of met this group of noisy girls giggling and talking about chrisy poo touching them... wanting to kiss sly under the mistletoe and what sueing so and so for sexual arrestment and what not. They are just irritating. My friend was developing 100+ photo and some machine which develops digital photos... And it is sought of our fault for not telling them that we will be taking a long time because we are developing 100+ photographs from one pathetic machine. But they called us names and started bitching us when my friend and I walked away... how unintelligent, unglamarous and dumb. Fancy calling people names just because they had to wait for 30 minutes. Okay, so my friend should not have said "too bad we were here first" but they should just take it in their stride and keep quiet what. Why must call us names... as if it will help with the situation. If they don't want to wait, then they should ask us how long we are going to take or something, but noooooooooooooo... they were there making so much noise, talking at the top of their voice about those Singapore Idols. I guess those girls did not bathe for quite a few days since their precious chrisy poo touched them... cannot wash the essence of his touch away... just kidding... Anyway, the aunty at the shop came out and asked them to keep their voices down, how exciting... They are lucky that I am not in a bitchy mood, if not... hmmmz... no one can tell what i will do... (actually nothing much larz... just talk back lorz...) but... yea... how irritating...
Hmmmz... Christmas is coming, which means school will reopen soon... Oh man... dreading for that day to come. As you can see, my English standard is deproving like crazy. I wonder why... hmmmmz... Yea, My mum's birthday is tomorrow. Which reminds me, I havent got her a present yet... haha... oops =x. Maybe I will sneak out tomorrow and buy her something. A cake maybe... Sigh... A levels coming in 11 months time... stressed...
