Sigh... Seriously, I have no idea what has gotten into me. I've created quite a lot of problems for those around me, haven't I? Hmmm... Its always at this period of time each year that I tend to be so low in mood. Its also times like this that I tend to miss out on all the happy stuff that are occuring right now and dwell into problems which seems like nothing at all. I've always told myself not to let history repeat itself but it seems like I've got to be stronger if I don't want to be like this. I might be crazy most of the time and laugh almost every minute but it just seems like it has never happened before. Its times like this where people will start questioning my behaviour. For people who are very tolerant with my stupid and pointless moodswings, I'm eternally grateful and apologetic about it. Especially dre and nah (if you are reading this that is... haha). They had to withstand my sudden stunt, which I'd pulled on them on quite a few occasions, without having an inkling on what is going on. Seriously, if you ask me what you had done wrong, I really don't know. I'm just being very sensitive and I know that is being very unfair to you guys. Sigh... Truely remorseful I am and trying my best to control myself. I just feel very empty for the past few days and I really don't know why. I don't even know myself anymore. But I'm thankful to dre for being understanding and all the other time (sorry...). Alright. Enough of all this stupid stuff...

I am going to Korea at the end of this year... Yay me! It has been really long since I've last sat on an aeroplane sooo... I'm rather excited about the trip. The only thing which I've been in contact with Korea is... The last time which I sat on a plane (Korean airlines... -_-") yea... so... Wateva (with a capital W).

Speaking of aeroplane, I remember when I was young, I was very afraid to spell the word "aeroplane" because I was scared that I would spell the word wrongly. So I ended up using the word "airplane" in every composition I wrote. haha... how stupid. It happened when I was in lower primary... (So very long ago...)...

Yuppie doodles... Oh yea, my birthdays fall on two consecutive days this year! how cool is that! Chinese birthday is on eve of mooncake festival! So those who forget to get me a present on the eve of mooncake festival can give it to me on actual mooncake festival itself... woots! (Just kidding... i'm not so GPGS okay?) Alright... I shall take my leave...

p/s: If you are wondering what GPGS means, it means " Gian png, Gian sai" aka rice and shit also want free (i think that's the meaning...) alrighty...

Alright... At last the photos appear. These photos were taken last saturday at Suntec after a mugging session (Not me... them...) at KFC. It was a very "Japanese-tourist" kinda moment when we took this. Haha... so yea... Here they are...

Me and Choon... I was holding my handphone there... (Message half-way then go take photo...)

Me and Jave... Woots! It has been an extremely long time since we last met...

Alright.. .All three of us... The fountain just came pouring with water suddenly without any warning.... Hmmmm...

Anyway, the big event yesterday was actually Chase's Birthday party and the 3 of us were invited as special guests. We are suppose to make a grand grand entrance to surprise him lar since the party was organised by Chase's friends. Quite an interesting party it was. Though I didn't take any photos last night. Very messy and all... Chocolate syrup flying all over the place etc... haha... but interesting. Yippee! okay.. .that's all...

*Yoyoyo! Cyndi... What's wrong with me! Ai Ni! *

Alright, that was a stupid opening. For your information, Cyndi is not my fave singer. It so happens that that particular song brings back fun memories alrite? Hehe...

Okay, ever since I was chased by a dog in camp, I have phobia for animals (Faeces man...). When I see a dog wandering around a few metres ahead of me, I will take cover or walk a different route. When I see a bird fly above me, I will siam like nobody's business because I'm afraid that it has some dog-instinct to poke me with its beak (can't really bite arh... no teeth... haha... or maybe it can? hmmm). When I see a mosquito fly around me I also siam like crazy (Those mosquitoes are commando train... No kidding... read on to find out why...). And when I see a bee far away from me, I cringed and bend down as I walk towards my destination. This is so unglamarous and crazy man... WHAT's WRONG WITH ME!!! (*Ai Ni!*).

Anyway, I got a superbly huge mosquito bite on my arm on tuesday while i was running during life activity. It is still itching now as I am typing this. This is so crazy man... It started out with a small swell on tuesday, progressed into a huge swelling on wednesday (actually the skin turned rubbery and its hard and a little painful when pressed...), proceeded with skin irritation around the swelling which spans across a distance of about 8cm (oh yes, I measured it...) on wednesday nite, decrease in swelling yesterday and appears to be quite normal today (Although it still itches). This could mean three things (San jian shi!). 1. I'm allergic to mosquito bites. 2. The mosquitoes in Tekong are commando trained. 3. Its not a mosquito after all.... I have no idea what the reason could be... How scary... rite?

Okay, I've been deemed addicted to my DS lite by Andre and Nat Nat. This is so darn bad. I'm not addicted okay! (So I claim... hehe..) Its just that I'm really into the game!! But then again, judging from what happened yesterday night, I think I am rather addicted to it (Faeces man!) Firstly, I almost missed my stop because I was playing my DS on the bus. Secondly, when I got down the bus, I continues playing and walking at the same time until when I was about to cross the road ....................................................................................................................







... BIG SPACE FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT....






I thought to myself, oh my gosh, this is crazy man! How can I walk and play at the same time. I MUST STOP PLAYINGGG!!!!!!! (i didn't shout it out... ) So, I stopped playing, kept my DS and crossed the road.... Yea, lame I know. But what to do, I am so dramatamatised. Anyway, I've completed my megaman ZX this morning. So I think I won't be touching my DS for quite some time until I buy more games... Hehe... Oh well, we shall see yea?

Alright, I've been keeping some photos for quite a few days now in fear that a particular someone would come and read my blog (he claims that he hasn't... ) and get jealous that we didn't ask him out. But since today is the BIG EVENT (*big event... big event... vent... ent.... nt... t...* echo effect... ha!) I shall post them today! Last Saturday, before the big and tamed wedding dinner, I went out with Choon and Jave! We went around shopping for someone's birthday present. It took us all our energy because, us being boys, we don't know what to get for him. Since he wanted something unique, we bought him something extremely unique!! woots!.

***Start if lame Commentory***

Let's bring out Specimen A.....

What a beautiful creation! A pink princess top hat, with a veil at the back. How clever! Its a fashion break-through! (I can't un-rotate the photo blogger has rotated for me!!! Faeces...)

Now, for Specimen B.....

A nice pink piggy boxers. Your eyes are not playing tricks on you! It's this small. Why? (you may ask) Because IT IS A PAIR OF MAGIC BOXERS!!!! (*Boxers... oxers... xers... ers..... s..... *Echo effect*)It expands in water to give real boxers!

Thirdly, Specimen C.....


What a cute design! Its a pair of PINK socks! Oooh... Look at its size! Its not for babies, mind you. ITS A PAIR OF MAGIC SOCKS!!!!! (*Socks... ocks....s.....*Echo effect*) Like the boxers, it expands in water to give a pair of socks for adults!! What a clever invention!!!! (Somehow blogger loves rotating my photos... Hmmm...)

Last but not least, we bring out Specimen D.....

Alright... It's a PINK T-shirt! Yes, its plain! But due to insufficient funds, we have no other choice but to get a PINK T-shirt from Giodarno.

Look at how matching all the 4 items are!! Let's give a round-of-applause for Choon, Jave and Jeremy for their clever and unique present!!! (*claps claps claps*)


****End of lame commentory***

Yup... So those are the stuff which we had bought for him... Wonders if he will wear it... Hmmm...

Anyway, It has been a long while since I last saw Jave. So am quite happy to know that he is doing fine and all... yay! Anyway, suddenly the photos I tried to upload seems to have disappeared. So i shall upload the photos later... ha!

Oh yea, I took leave today!!! so happy... =X Because of some BIG EVENT (Big event... event... vent... ent... t....). Alritey... I shall end of here. Shall talk about my counselling session later...

"Jeremy is mee because of Lor mee..."

I'm beginning to irritate myself. Why? (I ask myself...) Because

1. I fall asleep without even knowing that I have fallen asleep
2. I have been talking and talking and talking non-stop
3. I have been too hyper for my own good
4. I get angry over stupid little little small things (either pretending or for real) and it is getting real bad... (not good... naga... hateful)

last but not least............
5. I fall asleep without even knowing that I have fallen asleep

Haiyo... falling asleep without even knowing that you have fallen asleep is both good and bad. I'm an expert at that, I know.

Bad Points:
1. You miss almost half of the shows you want to watch
2. Your boss might think that you are jia-jua-ing (aka eating snake, slacking away)
3. For those who can't really sleep well at night, you might not be able to sleep at night if you do that in the afternoon.

Good Points:
1. Can't really think of any at the moment....

Oh well, trying very hard to actually know that I have actually fallen asleep. Hiak hiak hiak...

Anyway, I really find myself irritating. Sigh... I wonder where I get all this extra energy from. So so irritating. Well, if I have irritated anyone recently (if anyone is reading at all... ha!), I am awfully, painfully, regretfully sorrrrrry!!! I mean it!!! (Andre would say: "Don't be so paranoid lar!) Oh well... oh well oh well......

Okay, on a more happier note, I bought a Nintendo DS Lite!!! I am actually forking out money to buy something which I might not be using after some time... Hmmmm... Anyway, my brother has forked out money to buy it too! But he says that I will be using it most of the time, So that will belong to me! muahahahaha... My brother is so sweet! awwwww.....

On an even more happier and cheerful note, my cousin got married last Saturday. The wedding dinner was held at a very posh hotel and it was the most civilised/tamed wedding dinner I have ever attended. Instead of the traditional "yum seng", we went "Cheers!" (with an english accent, mind you...) How cool is that man! Okay, to end off, here are some of the photos which I have taken during the wedding dinner. My cousin just look so beautiful in all her wedding gowns... Gorgeous man... woots!

My Cousin in her first wedding gown... Nice!

What a dear.... So cute! She likes beating others... ha!

The Wedding Photo

My Cousin in Gown No. 2... Woots!

We found this grand piano hiding in one corner of the hotel/shopping centre. So.....

... we started with our Photo-taking frenzy once again... hiakzzz

I didn't realise Mr Ling (The guy in white shirt and tie, who happens to be my choir Teacher in charge at Meridian) attended the wedding too! haha...

Alright. That's all for now... woots!!

Something amazing happened to me on wednesday........

I was chased by a dog.

I was chased by a dog in camp... Hmmm..

That dog was super scary (not big and fierce-looking scary but aggressive scary).

Of all things, my day had to begin with a game of catching with that cute-looking-turned-agressive dog. I was walking towards HQ building in the morning for roll call. As I was walking pass one of the company lines, I felt something running towards me and when I turned around, i saw that dog growling at me. Knowing that it will chase me if I run, I tried to walk away from the dog slowly. But when I start to walk, the dog starts to run towards me!! wah liew... at that moment, I don't know what to do but run lar! But when I stopped running, the dog stopped and growled at me. But when i tried to move again, it starts to run towards me... like it wants to bite me... Great... how great... Got recruits at the company line some more.. so malu. In then end, I ran towards one of the company line (wanted to run into one of the office... haha) but in the end the dog stopped somehow. I think it is afraid to enter the company line. Shit man... so so malu and scary lar.

Oh well... What have I gained from this experience? 1. Don't walk along that stretch of road when no one is walking there. 2. Learn some dog defence skills =X

Finally! Finally! Finally!!!

Finally I've passed my IPPT! Never in my life have I ever passed one NAPFA test but finally! I've done it! Woots!! This means that i don't need to recourse too! hehe... So happy! Oh well, amd really glad that I have improved so much on my physical fitness. Like from 1 pull up to 6 pulls ups and from 13 mins plus for 2.4km to 11.34 for 2.4km. Yippee! So happy! Must thank the loggies for training me so hard and helping me improve! Also must thank nat nat and andre for taking ippt with me on a Saturday. Most importantly, must thank God for his blessings and guidance through today's test. I actually failed standing broad jump and shuttle run today. But on my second try, i passed with 3 points each. Never in my life have I jumped a 221cm. Praise God!

Anyway, I've finally seen my new office. A small office indeed. I have not officially moved in to the new office, but I guess I will have to do my work there from next week onwards since there are no more computers available for me to do work. Sigh... I so don't want to move to my new office but I don't have a choice. My old office is so homely and comfy that I can't bear to move. haha... Sigh... Log Br has closed down after so long. Hopefully, my old office will remain in one piece until I ord.

I guess I'm very very lucky to be able to follow my boss over. My boss is such an easy going person and he is super duper nice. I really petty two of my other friends who have to eat dumpling everyday. Seeing a lumpy dumpling is already repulsive enough, having to eat it silently is even torturous. That dumpling, eeeww... sian-ness. Alright, hopefully things will change for the better.

Dear Lord,
please forgive him for he knows not what he is doing.
Forgive him for being so childish and insensitive towards others.
Lord, God, by your grace, may he be enlightened and may his eyes be opened so that he can see how he treats his subordinates.
May he stop making things difficult for my friends and others and may he know what his own character is like.
May he repent on the sins that he has done, the nasty things he says to his subordinates, the lies he has told, the difficulties he has caused others and the shirking of his responsibilities.
I believe he will get what he deserves for all that he has done. But, oh Lord, like what you say, "Love thy neighbour as thy self." I forgive him for all that he has done. For now, may my friends not suffer under his hands. I ask for your blessing for all working under him and for him as well. May he follow your way and may your light shine on the path for him to see.
In Jesus' almighty name I pray,

Amen.

Woots! So so fast. Yet another batch of recruits has passed out from BMT. Sianz. Now the whole of Tekong is so so quiet.

Anyway, I stayed over at my cousins house last week since I had to go to some Camp for a Finance Seminar and that Camp is like a 5 minute walk away from my cousin's house. It has been a super duper long time since I've stayed over at my cousin's place. When I was young, I would always stay over at their place for a week during the holidays and we would just have fun together. How cool... Oh well, I still enjoyed my stay as much as I enjoyed it when I was young.

The finance seminar I attended was really interesting. I learnt a lot on what are the dos and don'ts and how funds are obtain and stuff... Also learn how to spend money PRUDENTLY... Woots! In other words, I learn how to be a very kiam siap person lar... So cool right! -_-" Anyway, the seminar was attended by so many big shots that I feel so so so small. Haiyo... sadness. But there is great food served there. Can grow fat man... Breakfast and tea break are provided (following our finance directive... hiak hiak). And the food is interestingly good.

Alright, for now, I have to survive on my own. Parents are enjoying themselved at Cameron Highlands while I will have to work in Singapore. Sianess... Oh well, I've bought a new computer!!! Woots! So looking forward to this coming sat!But it is a so so one bought during Comex 06. So, yea, VALUE FOR MONEY (another thing I've learnt... woots!). Okay, shall end off for now.

PS: Choon and Chase! Thanks for using my tagboard as your own mini MSN Messenger. Its really interesting................... -_-" haha =p

Montpressivo III

Well well well... Montfort Chorale had their concert on Friday. It was a combined concert with Westwood Secondary and the overall performance wasn't that fantastic. Apparently, the concert should be named as Westwoodssivo rather than Montpressivo since Westwood took away all the lime light.... Haha... They are definitely better than Montfort Chorale but I feel that being the guest choir, they should at least give the main choir more performance time. Oh well, its the conductor's decision so I shall not comment much.

Montfort Chorale's entrance into CHIJMES was very very impressive as it was like a procession. Their conductor did a solo performance as he walked into the hall and he was followed closely behind by the choir. All the lights were off and the choir members were holding candles as they walked in. So cool! Well, the first two songs, "Procession" and "When Jesus Wept", were the best songs for the concert. The rest were not that bad (but not that good either). So, no complains. Anyway, the seniors (including me) are already not impressed by their concert booklet (we paid 12 dollars for a piece of photocopied paper) so we were already quite pissed with the planning. However, us being nice and forgiving seniors (ha!) continued to cheer them on... Hehe... since we are so not forgotten...

Overall, its quite heart warming to see them put up their third installment of Montpressivo. How I wish their standard can improve... Haiz... Hopefully things will change for the better. Anyway, after the concert, the alumni went on stage and sang "One Single Light"! woot! We rock! haha... however, due to my lousy piano skills, we stopped singing in the middle of the song. But it was quite tactical lar (It sounded like the song has ended... heez). The greatest part of all was when both the alumni and the choir sang "The Battle of Jericho" and I conducted them. Haha... very nice to see that there is actually one song which both the alumni and present choir members can sing together... Although it was two completely different interpretations, we still managed to pull it off lar... So no complains... ha! So glad that so many alumni peeps can make it for the concert. 4 couples came... (increase from the 1 last year) Hiak hiak hiak...

After the concert, we went our separated ways. The 4 meridians went to Suntec Carls Jr while the 3 couples plus a few others went to Marina Carls Jr. (Not that we want to go separate ways ok... we actually wanted to have dinner together but in fear of being light bulbs, the four meridians decided to separate from them... hiakz...).

At Carls Jr, we managed to teach Jason CKL some life skills (you really don't want to know what questions he asked when he was there... haha) which is important for him to break out of his mountain tortoise shell and be freed from the sua ku spirit that was possessing him for the last 16 years. Oh well... the four of us were very crazy on the way there and even at Carls Jr itself, we were crazy. (Many people has given us THE stare...) What to do... We are so proud to be Meridians what... haha =X Anyway, here are the photos we took at Carls Jr...

We call ourselves the J^3 S aka J cubeS (3 generation of Meridians =D)

Look... What Dumb faces we have? =X

Trying to look Dao...

Meridian Medley Cheer!! Wheeeeee! (We are so loyal... ha!)

*Born of a vision to be the best... Rising above the rest...*

Prisoners of Meridian (the POMs)

That's all... Imagine how traumatised the group of working adults behind us were.... =X

Time has really passed so quickly! So fast, 2 of my branchmates have left us... Sad... Furthermore, my branch will be separated this coming September and more will be leaving. Sigh... How saddening... I guess it won't feel the same once our working environment changes. Haiz...

Oh well, its going to be busy busy busy time for me now. I've realised that there are still so many things to do now and so many things to handle. Beginning to lose sleep again. This is baaaaaad. It's times like this where I will start to become irritating. So pardon me for my behaviour. For the past few days, I've become so childish! Oh my gosh! And I am beginning to irritate myself (How weird). Hopefully I can refresh myself this weekend.

I shan't go on with my blabbings since my sentences are getting shorter and shorter now. (Hmmmm... I wonder...) Anyway, here are some photos of my branch. Nice ones!

Informal shot of the Loggies!

Young Loggies at table 2 (The young ppl who ORD next year excluding kelvin....)

My Boss and his birthday cake!

Loggies past and present!

All of us in the restaurant

Sigh sigh sigh... How I wish my term will end... Haiz...

None But Jesus by Hillsong

In the quiet
In the stillness
I know that You are my God
In the secret of your presence
I know that I am restored
When you call I won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose

Chorus:
There is no one else but You
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos
In confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When you call I won't delay
This my song through all my days

Chorus:
There is no one else but You
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise
There is no one else but You
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

Bridge:
All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord
Forever more
All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord
Forever more

Chorus:
There is no one else but You
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise
There is no one else but You
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

I love this song so so much... So meaningful. Reminds me of all the things God has done for me! Calms my nerves too! =)

Oh well... Montfort Chorale is in quite a disastrous state. Hopefully things will turn out well.

I'm beginning to feel very tired and worried over some things. Hopefully things will be fine.

Sigh... There is no one else but You! None but Jesus!

I am super duper tired now. I am both physically and mentally tired now! Physically because of yesterday's graduation parade. It was my first time helping out in the parade and it is certainly a very interesting experience for me. I helped to set up the refreshment counter for the parents and the VIPs and it can be damn tiring as we had to sit in the reception room and wait for the VIP to arrive (That's tiring... ha!). The more tiring part is to prepare the drinks, carry the stuff over to the reception area and set up the place.

Ah well... Many things had to be done prior to this GP. Things like preparing the AOR, buying 100 plus, refreshments and servicing of equipment. This is where I am mentally drained. Haha... Because I have burst my budget for this year and many problems have arised. The system gave me so much problem and all I can do is to panic everyday. I think I gave my finance officer a lot of trouble too haha... We have to call each other so frequently everyday for the past week. Oh well... Luckily everything is settled now.

Haiz... anyway, my upperstudy has ORD-ed. And I am left quite alone... At least I am more familiar with my job scope and the terms used now compared to two months back when I was so blur. Hopefully i can survive the rest of my NS days arh... Hmmmm... hopefully...

Some pics from La Risonanza III...

MJChoir alumni rehearsing on stage

The male chorus of MJChoir

MJChoir Alumni backstage while the main choir is preparing to enter stage outside... haha

MJChoir Alumni with Mr Yong (Took this using timer mode =) )

MJChoir on stage performing "Sunset Boulevard"!!

The choir in another position during the musical

Our 3 wonderful soloists! Charissa, Ying Chuan and Rachel!

Meridian Junior College Choir Presents

"La Risonanza III"

MJChoir Rocks!!! Woohoo!! Their concert was great!! My juniors did well and sang well! Their hard work really paid off man! MJChoir Alumni made their debut yesterday too and I guess we did well too. Although not really great, but at least we sang as an alumni! woohoo! I am so glad that i joined them for the concert. I had thoughts of redrawing from the performance initially as I wasn't sure if I am ready. But God has guided me and there i was, standing in front of the audience with the alumni singing my hearts out! We were rather nervous back stage before the concert. But we prayed together, encouraged each other and had fun together. It was really hard for us as we only got full strength a few days before the concert but we did it anyway. Sigh... How I wish the alumni would continue to grow and one day we will have a full choir.

Yesterday's concert really made me thought back about my past as a choir. Standing up there in the circles seat, watching my juniors perform the musical, made me think about the ups and downs the choir had gone through for the past two years when I was there. I really hoped that I could be part of them again! Sigh... But time has indeed pass so quickly and here I am, serving NS. Somehow, thinking back about the concert now makes me miss the choir even more... haha... Anyway, the choir has grown both in strength and standard and that is definitely a good thing and I am so happy for them!! By the way, I must really thank those who came for the concert. Especially DY, Alan, Andre and Andy!!! The four of them rushed over from Tekong just to support me and I am so touched! It's really very nice of them to come down to support me but too bad, they have to leave after first half. Oh well, really glad to know that they can make it. Of course not forgetting Chase! Lim Kian Heng for his beautiful flower and Choon for being there. haha...

Oh well, for the past few days, I've been attending this storeman course at Sembawang Camp. Gosh! It is a totally new environment for me. The people there are mostly smokers and most of them are from ITE. Not that I have anything against them but I really can't stand their behaviour in class and even when they march! Aiyooo!! Never in my life have I ever been to such a noisy class! Haha... But the instructors there are super nice and there is one more day left before the course ends. So I might as well bear with it. Haiz... This is my very first time missing Tekong! haha... The food at Sembawang is really very very very un-appetising. The place really makes me feel demoralised. I think I am too attached to my office.... Haiz... I will be back soon anyway and now I don't mind sitting the ferry to and fro anymore... haha...

Okay. Enough of my rantings. I really have to thank God for guiding me through this far! I thank him for all the wonderful memories that he has showered upon me and most importantly, thank him for being there for me all the time when I needed him. Praise God!

Here are some photos taken during the Carls Junior outing with some of the Loggies!

Dy, Ex Dy, Alan, Me, Andre and Andy!

Finance clerk, armskote cum signal spec (aka Pao Ga Liao), ration spec and signal spec!Me and Alan

Another month has past so quickly! I guess things have changed quite alot for me for this past month. I seem to be much happier now since I am working in such a friendly environment. I'm beginning to like my job as a finance clerk although I'm still picking up things along the way. Generally, I feel closer to the branch now and I am really happy to be there. Sigh... Hopefully my branch won't be splitted up after the merger which I find pointless. Sigh... My boss is just so nice. My colleagues too! Woot!! Had a gunbound session with my colleagues yesterday night and it was actually fun! haha... Oh well... I shall be patient and let God's plan unfold before me...

Anyway, I got accepted into NUS!! Woohoo!! And I was given my first choice too, Science. Hopefully I will be able to study Applied Chemistry because no matter how much I want to be a teacher, I still want to keep my options open. You'll never know what teaching is like until you have experienced it.

Sigh... Now I will have to pass my IPPT if I don't wish to recourse. I really don't want to recourse but I am so afraid that I will not pass my IPPT. I'm like quite far away from the pass that I should obtain because I have not been exercising for like close to 2 months. The only way to start training myself is to stay-in in camp so that I can go to the gym or run with them. But then again, I'm still rather afraid of staying-in. Sometimes I really want to stay in with them but somehow, I seem to give in to my fears. The stories I hear are not helping much too. Its like you want to hear those stories but once you hear it, you begin to be scared of this and that. ARGH!! What to do? What to do? I shall just pray about it and ask God for guidance. Sigh... what a dilema...

Meridian Choir Concert is coming!!!! I REALLY WANT TO PERFORM WITH THE ALUMNI!! Sigh... But the stupid storeman course makes it quite difficult for me to take part in this performance. Hopefully I will be able to rush down from Sembawang camp immediately after the course. Hopefully, the course will end early. Let's just see how things go. By the way, let me make an advertisement here... haha... Wonder if anyone will read this but...

Meridian Junior College Choir Proudly Presents

"La Risonanza III"

Date: 10 May 2006, Wednesday

Time: 7.30pm

Venue: Victoria Concert Hall

Tickets are sold at $12 and its free seating!

Come on down and support us!!!! Woohoo!!!

Haiyer... So fast... one week has past since the chalet ended. Wow! I had a great time at the chalet last week. Cycling around with my friends, cycling to Meridian with choon and chase... woot... fun! And chase and I were talking throughout the night about God knows what (Always changing topics... we link topics very well u see...) while choon listen to us talk while pretending to be asleep. We relived our childhood days that night. Wah... it was super funny playing the flying saucer thing with them. Oh well... all good things must come to an end... haiz...

Anyway, I have officially taken over the job as finance clerk. After 3 days of training at selarang camp, my eyes almost dropped out because i have to look through pages and pages of numbers to find the matching documents. Auditing documents can be super boring and tough man. Hopefully I will be able to survive arh... My upper study will be on leave soon and I still have many things to prepare and ask before the financial year opens which is just next week. Oh man.... Hopefully I will be out of tekong alive... dook ching... One thing's for sure, i seem to prefer tekong more than other camps in Singapore because tekong is like more cosy and "new-looking" than the camps i've been to so far. Haiz... if only BMTC is on mainland.... that would be so much better.

I guess I am feeling better now although there are occasional disturbing feelings that arise within me... I'm still as blur as ever, still trying to understand what ppl is trying to say (although i have no problem understanding my friends and family.... hmmm...), still trying to control myself. I am still very lost as to how to move on and how to get through this. The feeling of not knowing what will happen... Sigh... may the 7 of december 2007 come quickly! Oh well, let me just carry out God's plan for me and try not to bother about things which will not help me in life.

Being a storeman at HQ is not that bad after all. The people at Log Branch are super nice and I guess staying in as a perm staff is not as bad as staying in as a recruit. Firstly, you get more freedom as you can do what you want at night. Secondly, you can sleep at whatever time you like and lastly, you can get up later than usual. Haiz... I guess I am just a trouble maker... causing so much trouble for everyone... Why am I like that? How I wish i can feel better... In fact, I know God has helped me relax and stay calm for the past few days... So i am so thankful for that! Hopefully, tomorrow will be better... we shall see...

"Hallelujah! Jesus is alive!"

At long last, after so many months, I get to return back to Montfort to see the choir. I guess the choir has improved a little under their new conductor so I'm not complaining. However, their discipline is still as bad as ever... haiz...

Anyway, the choir had their party today and it's great to see my juniors again (even though there are many many unfamiliar faces). After so many months, I got to meet Choon and theo! haha... Of course not forgetting Alvin and Ernest (Although I just met them yesterday... =X) Very happy to be able to see all of them again after so so long...

Going back to Montfort brings back so many wonderful memories I had in the school. Choon, Ernest and I lingered around the physical fitness station talking and talking... How relaxing... How I wish I can just relive all these memories again... How I wish I can become the happy Jeremy that I used to be... How I wish I will not be so worried over anything like how I was in the past... sigh... I've grown to become a timid person...

By the way, Miss Loh left Montfort to join Sembawang Sec. Poor thing... Being tortured by the students there. Sigh... Although, Miss Loh and I were not that close, but I still visit her office with Choon and Chase in the past. It was so fun then. Choon will always joke around in the office with Miss Loh and we will laugh our heads off in her office. Sigh... now that she is in another school, we will not be able to enter that Science office ever again. Oh well...

I am posted back to BMTC (stupid island named tekong) as a storeman (euphemised as supply assistant). Sigh... Hopefully I get to stay out and get an 8-5 job... Let God's will be done... Shall see what a storeman does tomorrow... Wish me luck!

"One Single Light...."

Time passes so quickly (I think i have said this too many times... =X)... 1 week since my grandma was cremated. All of us miss our grandma dearly. Sigh... I guess we have to really move on and not brood over it... There are stories that my grandma had visited us during the 7 day period starting from.

Last Sunday night, both my father and I dreamt of my grandma. My father said that my grandmother told him that she is very happy that everyone had turn up for her wake and that even those overseas rushed back to attend her funeral. I hope she is really happy and peaceful in the kingdom of God now. My dream was rather spooky... haha... I dreamt that my whole family was at my grandmother's old house. Suddenly, my grandmother appear beside my aunt and take a look at her. After that, she disappeared again. Then, she appeared beside another person, look at her and disappeared again. I was shouting, "ah ma! ah ma!" and she looked at me, put her fingers to her lips and called me to keep quiet... haha... It seems that only i can see her and no one else can. What a dream... My mother said that she put a packet of rice on top of the rice container one night and the next morning when she looked at it, the packet of rice seems to have depressions on it, as though someone has grabbed it... Hmmmmmm...

Then my cousin told me that one day when her family was eating at the dining table with the television on, the television suddenly switched off by itself. The television was not spoilt at all as the small red light signalling that there is power to the TV was there. Then my cousin went to on it and it seems to be working perfectly well.... hmmmmmm.... My cousin also told me that her mother (my aunt... duh) dreamt of my grandma smiling at her two times the same night.... ooooh

Haiz... I shall just look forward to the future gatherings I am going to have with my family...

Anyway, I have finally stayed in camp (Not that i am keen in staying in at all). The first day was super terrifying for me because I was so scared of staying in, so scared of the place, so scared of the officer... I actually wanted to report sick and get myself warded. But praise God! God guided me through the pass few days, helping me not to get myself warded. Sigh... I went to see the doctor on thursday to show him the letter from my psychiatrist. He gave me sleeping pills because i told him i could not sleep. The sleeping pills were extremely effective. I have been feeling so so sleepy even when i woke up the next day. Wooot! I've been sleeping in the office for the pass few days... haha... Was really very very tired. I don't know why.

My company will be POP-ing soon. At last their 3 months of will be coming to an end soon. Sigh... Glad to know that my platoon, especially my section, are so concern about me and are so caring. Haiz... hopefully I can get out of Tekong soon. I want to leave that place and start my NS life anew somewhere else. I guess I have grown to be scared of that environment. May God guide me and bless us all! Hallelujah!

Will be booking in tomorrow. All i need is to bear with it for 2 days and 2 nights and I will be out soon. Let's just hope that i will be ok for the next few days...

Praise God! I got my A level results today. I have been praying and hoping that I could get what I aimed for. And once again, God has answered my prayer. I got A for Chemistry and Maths and a B for Biology. C5 for GP, a pass! haha... Praise God!

I went to see the psychiatrist today. He downgraded me temporarily to PES C1 L1 which means there is no combat training for me. He also referred me to a counsellor. And he said if I am to have another break down tomorrow, I am to report sick and i will be warded at Alexandra Hospital. Haiz... I am comforted to hear that but then again, I feel so worried and scared. I don't know why I feel this way at the thought of staying in tomorrow. I was shivering just now for no apparent reason. haiz... What's wrong with me? Oh Lord, please help me stay calm and relaxed.

Whatever it is, I should be happy for getting such good grades! Congratulations to the 7 wanderers for great improvements in their results!!! Especially to Meng Yang, Wee Ling and Xiu Li (Xue Li) for getting straigt As!!!!! Praise God!

I shall post some photos of my ang moh nephew and niece. The photos were taken during my grandma's wake... sigh... I miss my grandma...